Be Careful What You Wish For

I have been feeling a little melancholy lately about my kids being gone so much. Thanksgiving break was so much for all of us. I'm really looking forward to Christmas break when all of us will have some time to just "be" as a family. I hate feeling rushed and intentional in everything we do lately. It seems that our lives run by the scheduled calendar and we have to "plan" our fun.

This past week we tried to slow down a bit. I let the house work go. I let the laundry go. I let the yard work go. I did not plan any big dinners or after school play dates. Here's a look at what we did with our time. It looks like we were busy, but really it was just a "go with the flow" kind of week. We don't do that very often around here.

We have been working on some Christmas crafts. My boys love to sit down with a lot of supplies and just create. It amazes me what they come up with.

Skiing was one of our "planned" activities for the week. We took both kids out of school (shh, don't tell anyone) and headed up the mountain for ski lessons. The boys had a great time and they both improved a lot. And yes, I sat for four hours and just watched. I just sat and watched in amazement as my kids fell and got back up. I sat in amazement as I looked at the howling wind, frigid wind chill temperatures, and two kids that did not complain a bit. I sat in amazement that God has blessed my family with two healthy kids, a husband that relished in taking the day off to be with us, and the opportunity to just sit and watch as my kids got to do an activity that brought me so much joy as a kid.

Their instructor gave them gold medals after their lesson. My kids were the first kids (ever) to go up the new lift that just opened that day. I always knew they'd get their 15 minutes of fame.

Colin had a Boy scouts banquet last week. He was awarded his marshmallow shooter for his outstanding popcorn sales. To top off the night, he lost his front tooth at the banquet. The Tooth Fairy left quite a gift that night.

Along the same theme as Boy scouts, Colin marched in the Erie Town Lighting Parade on Saturday. Camden came out to support him despite the cold temperature. Hot chocolate was the reward for making it all the way through.

Colin is somewhere in there. Can you spot him?

A Christmas parade would not be complete without a visit from Santa.

We spent Sunday making various Christmas goodies. I love that my boys enjoy baking with me. We turned on the Christmas music, heated up the almond bark and made lots of sweet treats.

I have really been wishing that the kids were home more. Wish granted. Colin stayed home from school today with pink eye. I'm sad that his eye hurts but not so sad that he gets to stay home. He's not sick in bed so we get to play legos, watch movies and hand out together. I really really miss my kids. So much so that I am toying with the idea of home schooling. Crazy, I know. I have not researched anything. I have no idea if this is the right move for us. It probably won't happen but I love my time at home with the kids. However, I also know that I need time to myself. How do I get this balance? Be careful what you wish for.

I Miss My Kids

Thanksgiving break is already over. I don't have any pictures to post. I didn't even take any pictures. We had nothing planned. We did not have any appointments. We just went day by day and did whatever we wanted. Through those nine long days I realized that I miss my kids. It was so great to have Colin home. The boys actually played pretty well together. The weather was nice enough that we could go outside. We raked leaves, put up the outdoor decorations and just relaxed. Colin did not really want to do anything special so we played a lot of wii, made crafts and were just generally lazy. On Sunday night, Colin was upset about having to go back to school. To be honest, I was upset too. I didn't really want either of them to go back. With Camden, it's a little easier since he is not in school that many hours. However, Colin is gone every day from 9am-4pm. You throw boyscouts into that and I feel like I don't get any time with him. When he is home, I just want to snuggle with him. Of course, he doesn't want much to do with that.

I am looking forward to Christmas break and even more than that, summer break. Going into the Thanksgiving break I really felt like we needed to make the most of our time. I figured we would go to the zoo, the museum, the park...I had all of these great ideas. It turns out, the kids just wanted to spend time at home. I couldn't have asked for anything better. I can see now that they are growing up so fast. I miss the preschool days where we could go to the park in the morning, have a picnic and then come home and do crafts together.


Realistically, the two of them still drive me crazy sometimes. I am exhausted by the end of every day. I wish I had more time to myself to get things done around the house. It seems like my "to do" list is never completed. Since I'm a bit "type A" (all you haters, no comments please) I have a hard time with the disarray of the house, the unreturned phone calls, the check book that has not been balanced for 6 months, the floors that need mopped, the laundry that needs folded....you know the list goes on and on.

However, I am thinking ahead to next fall when both kids will be in school full time. I am sure I can find things to fill my day but I already feel very lonely about this prospect. I don't really want a full time job or even a consuming part time job. I want to be able to volunteer in their classrooms, to join PTCO, to be here every morning when they go off to school and every afternoon when they come home from school. Again, I know I can find things to fill the day. Storage rooms to clean, photo albums to finish, errands to be completed. But I just feel lonely even thinking about doing all of this. It feels empty. It feels unimportant.

I'm going to go hug Camden now.

Nothing Special

There's not really anything special to report here today. It seems that when I have a witty moment or a great picture, it gets pushed aside because of some disaster/melt down/ issue/mealtime... I guess my family eating IS more important than me blogging.

Halloween is over and the kids had a great time. They each collected a full bucket of candy and donated a good portion of their goodies to a local dentist. Said dentist gave out $1 for every pound. Six dollars later, we drove to the Humane Society because the boys wanted to donate their new found money "for the puppies and kitties". Sometimes they just amaze me.

Speaking of puppies and kitties. Right now we are dog sitting Scooby and Pele the cat. It drives me crazy to sit here and work while I listen to the dog snore in the back ground. What a life. Right now she's curled up on the couch looking very snug. She's not supposed to BE on the couch but moving her does no good. She just hops right back up. Listens about as well as the kids sometimes.

And on to the kids. Our activities have slowed down considerably. Football is over. BMX racing is over. Swim lessons were full so we'll have to wait until next session. All we have right now is Colin's boyscouts. That keeps us busy enough for the moment. Did I mention that he sold $1,100 in popcorn? He had the 5th highest sales of the entire pack (80+ boys). Not bad for a six year old boy that did not get a lot of help from mom and dad. He asked to go out nearly every day and sell. Who could resist buying from this kid?

He also took 3rd place in the Rain gutter Regatta. Not sure what the point of the whole thing was, but he was excited so we were excited for him.

I'm finding it hard to fill my afternoons with Camden. It seems that my work is slowing down so that is good. The tv is on more than I would like. He still loves to do crafts and make crazy creations but there is always a huge mess if he is left unsupervised. He does a good job of "cleaning" but it's never quite clean. The mop usually needs to be brought out and at the very least the broom.

He starts gymnastics today so that should help with our boredom. We're pretty sure that next year we'll go ahead and put him in full day kindergarten. If we did half day, I would just have to find more activities for him in the afternoon. He'll be one of the oldest in his class anyway and I think he is ready.

It's snowing today. There's not much snow on the ground. It has just been dusting all morning. Of course the boys use it as a great excuse for hot chocolate. I can't say that I mind. After all, I make enough for me too.

Just last week we were in short sleeve shirt raking leaves outside. We have had a stellar fall season this year. This is really the first cold day we have had. The fact that it is Nov. 11 and it's the first snow is pretty amazing. Last year it snowed the second week of October and never let up. Here's to the nice weather we are leaving behind.

On a final note, as I was getting dressed the other day Camden made this comment to me, "Mom, you are so 1980's." Now where in the world did he get that from?!

Camden is Five!

I can’t believe my baby is 5 years old. Halloween always reminds me of the time right before he was born. The story goes a little something like this….(yes, it’s a long one…)

When I was pregnant with Cam, I had an OB appointment on my birthday, September 13. We lived in KC at the time and Steve was in Chicago. My mom had to come out to visit me for my birthday.

I brought a friend, Carrie, along to my appointment as I thought I was having blood drawn. Since I always pass out at blood draws, I thought it would be good to have someone else drive home. My appointment went fine and I did not have blood drawn. At the end of the appointment the Dr. noticed me trying to catch my breath. At times, I felt like I had a side stitch and just couldn’t breathe. Since I did not have Braxton Hicks with Colin, I just figured that’s what I was feeling. The Dr. was not too happy about this, asked me about my symptoms, left the room and came back in with hospital admission papers. I didn’t want to go to the hospital. I didn’t want to leave Colin at home. But I also didn’t want to risk Camden being born 8 weeks early. I knew the Dr.’s would take care of me, but I was scared. Funny thing is, when I was admitted, the nurses told me that I would probably go home in a few hours since they see “false” preterm labor all the time. They hooked me up to the monitors, talking in hushed voices and brought in a cart full of meds. The first med they gave me made me so hot I felt like I was on fire. The second med they gave me chilled me to the bone. It is such a strange feeling when these meds go through your body. You can literally feel them crawling through your veins. I’m not sure which was which, but I had a med to help stop the contractions and a med to help Cam’s lungs develop. My sis, Roxanna, stayed with me until Steve got there. I was just scared to be there alone.

I spent 5 days in the hospital hooked up and drugged up. The next 3 weeks were spent on bed rest. Keep in mind that I had a toddler at home. Grandma was able to stay and take care of Colin, but watching him from couch about killed me. I literally had to lie on my back every second of every day. I was not allowed to get up except to go to the bathroom and shower. Camden was due on Nov. 4. On October 14 the Dr. lifted my “total” bed rest restrictions. Cam was born on October 15.

Looking back on things, I am so glad I followed the Dr.’s orders.. I know Camden would have come into the world even earlier. He couldn’t wait to come into this world. He has been running ever since. He is so hard to keep up with. He craves constant movement and entertainment. He is such a joy and a crackup. Every day he makes me laugh out loud. Every day he makes me want to pull my hair out. Every day he makes me cringe at his dare devil acts. Every day he wants me to snuggle with him at night. Every day he gives me joy. Every day he pulls at my heart.
You are a sweet (stubborn) little boy. I am so lucky to have you in my life. You mean the world to our family. I am so blessed that God gave us you!

Almost Fall

As I sit here looking at all of my Halloween decorations, I am realizing that I seem to have time to post on my blog about once a season. Try as I might, I just can't seem to get to it as often as I would like. It's certainly not for lack of blog worthy tales to tell. We have plenty of those around the Silva house.

Here's just a few events as of late:

Colin finally made it to school without crying. It was Friday. The Friday that he earned his last puzzle piece for at least holding it together until he got on the bus. We'll see what Monday holds.

Camden started pre-k. He was so excited. Just skipped away from me with no issues. That's a nice change.

I just booked a four day trip to Las Vegas with Steve. Grandma is going to come and watch the boys. I am already nervous for her. I am nervous for me. I am nervous for anyone that will encounter my kids while I am gone. Will the become hooligans? Only time will tell.

I have picked up the same toys 493 times over the last month. I am so tired of kid stuff I could scream.

I love my kids. Really I do. But it seems impossible to have any space for myself. I am constantly picking up things as I go upstairs, as I come downstairs, going out to the garage.....

Oh, here are said kids home from a birthday party now. Blog time is over.
:-(

Where in the World is the Silva Family?

The better question would be where haven't we been this summer?

The kids and I have not had a lot of time to do our standard "summer time" activities (zoo, park, splash park, sand box at the mall). Since the summer started off with a bang (i.e., Disney World) we have had a hard time topping that activity.

We have done a lot of fun things this summer but I feel like the time has gotten away from me. In a few short weeks Colin will be off to first grade. I feel like this is the beginning of the end. I am very apprehensive and trying extremely hard not to show it. My first concern is that having school for most of the day and then after school actives like soccer and karate will eat up all the time that I have with him. Now he tells me he also wants to be in gymnastics (thanks KS cousins) and try Boy Scouts. There is no humanly way possible to fit all of this into each week.

My other concern is how Camden is going to handle Colin being gone. We had a conversation at the dinner that a few weeks ago about marriage. My oldest niece, Larissa, got married on July 24. I was explaining (prior to the wedding) why people get married. I told the boys that hopefully they will marry someone that they are friends with first. They would grow to love them and then get married and live with their spouse for the rest of your lives. Camden asked if he could marry Colin. He absolutely loves his brother! Don't get me wrong, they have their moments. But all in all, they are good to each other. Camden is going to fall to pieces when he understands that Colin is going to be gone all day every day. It is going to be up to me to entertain him. At this point I have Cam enrolled in pre-k M/W/F for 2 1/2 hours. I am seriously considering putting him in gymnastics and soccer during the day to give him something to do while Colin is at school. There are going to be a lot of tears all the way around come August 18.

So, what have we been up to lately? We have been camping a few times in Estes Park. We got to spend time with our cousins from Charleston and from Aurora.

The boys did the Sizzler Run in Lafayette.

Went to the lake with friends.

We have gone on our typical bike rides, played a outside and have just been hanging out. We've made a handful of trips to various outdoor pools with friends and finished up t-ball. We went to KS to see Larissa get married and then stayed for a week visiting my sister, Roxanne, and Steve's family. It was a great time!

The boys learned all kinds of gymnastics moves from Tom and Steff's girls. It's a bit scary to watch Colin and Cam attempt handstands and somersaults when they have absolutely no idea what they are doing.

While we were in KS we went to the Hutchinson Salt Mine. I highly recommend it if you are ever in the area. The boys loved the tour and talked non-stop about the adventure. They have old costumes and movie reels stored down there. The kids loved seeing the costumes.

We also swam at my Aunt Sharon's house (which I also highly recommend) and the kids evidently tore into the candy in the basement and went over their yearly allotment of sugar in just one afternoon.

I don't have a whole lot of witty things to say right now. I am tired from general summer responsibilities and and currently faced with the task of what to fix for dinner. I guess if that is the extent of my problems, I am not so bad of, right? Oh, and Colin lost his first tooth this week.

Very exciting!

Disney 2010!!!

Needless to say, I owe you all a very long update. I'm going to skip all the backlog, and just bring you up to speed on most recent events. Guess where we went?!?

A few weeks ago we went to Disney World with Steve's family. We had a magical time! From the moment we stepped foot onto the Disney grounds, our boys were in heaven! We had such a wonderful week. Despite late nights (never went to bed before 11:30pm) and early mornings (we woke the kids up every morning - YIKES!) we had a super week. The boys had such great behavior. We experienced a week of pure bliss and joy without a single melt down. Yes folks, you heard right. We took our kids to Disney World and they did not cry once! No, we did not give them everything they wanted and they did not get to eat ice cream for every meal. We kept our spending within reason and had a Popsicle once a day. They were just so in awe of everything around them. They took in all the sights, played with their cousins, talked with Grandma Silva and Aunt Patti. They had so much attention from everyone (including Mommy and Daddy) they never needed for anything. Disney is truly a magical place!

After long week and the trip home, I asked the boys about their favorite parts. Colin liked Space Mountain and swimming in the pool everyday.

Camden liked Splash Mountain (he was a little too small for Space Mountain) and seeing Tinkerbell at the Magic Kingdom fireworks. We saw the fireworks by mistake. It was getting late one night and I decided I was going to take Camden back to the hotel. To my surprise, he did not insist on staying so I knew he was tired. I started walking back with him and then realized that we could not get through the crowd. W got as far as we could. That happened to be right in front of the castle! The fireworks started and I had a feeling that Tink was going to be a part of the show. I held him as we stopped and watched. The kid has tears in his eyes as Tink flew from the castle to chase away Captain Hook. It was one of the sweetest moments ever.

We went to Turtle Talk with Crush in Epcot. Cam was picked to "talk" to Crush. He is the total opposite of shy. He stood right up, told Crush a joke and got the whole crowd laughing. He couldn't have been more proud of himself.

We happened to be in Disney on a Star Wars weekend. Colin (and Cam) got to make their own light sabers out of different parts and pieces. I thought Colin was going to flip out over meeting Chewbacca. It was so magical for him.

The entire week was one that I would love to relive a hundred times over. It was hot and sunny but we made it through. Some days we went back in the afternoon to the hotel to cool off. Other days went hit the pool. One day the kids napped. We were always able to find a cool place when we needed to and a place to sit.

Thanks Grandma Silva for a once in a lifetime experience. I will let the pictures speak for themselves.