You always know just how to make me laugh. You are cute and sweet and funny and.... the list just goes on and on. You have a soft heart and a love for all things furry and feathered. Sometimes you love your momma so much it just makes my heart ache. Sometimes you are so stubborn it just makes me want to put you in time out all day. (Oh, did I really just say that?)
You love your brother to pieces. You fight with your brother until you fall to pieces. You like to eat Reese's Pieces.
Your favorite activities at the moment are (in no particular order): skateboarding, duck tape art, gymnastics, community service, minecraft and jumping on the trampoline. Your dream is still to work in a petshop, a zoo or at a vet clininc.
Sometimes you still let me hold you on my lap. I miss my little boy but you are growing up to be so independent. Every time I talk to your teacher as school, it just makes my heart sing. She is always praising you for being respectful and kind. She says we have done such a good job teaching you mannesr and politeness. I know we have taught you some, but you just have a good heart.
Thank you for being my firecracker. You bring a spark into this family like none other!
For those of you that don't want to hear me be "preachy", stop reading this right now. I'm about to get preachy and throw around words like Heaven, Jesus, Savior, God and Amen. If you continue reading and you don't agree with me and you want to leave a comment, that is fine. Freedom of speech and all that. However, I kindly ask you that you refrain from ugliness, rudeness and general meanness. After all, that is what has gotten us into this mess of a broken world to begin with.
So here it goes....
Our world is broken. That is no secret. In my opinion, it has been in a downward spiral since 9-11. I have felt heavy since that day. Yes, it comes and goes but mostly it comes. No, I don't think I am depressed or ill. I am just sad for our world. I am sad for our children. I am sad that I hide the newspaper and click off the news when my boys come into the room. My kids have never ever watched the news. Yes, you heard me right. It's not that my children don't know about the tragedies of this world, it is that my husband and I choose when and how to tell them. They know about death. They know about hate. They know about 9-11. They know about Hitler. They know about bad guys, terrorism, kids getting taken off the street.
However, this tragedy is going to be a hard one to explain. Simply because there are no answers. There are no excuses. I can't tell the kids, the shooter was a broken man that did not know these children. That he walked into a random school with random intentions and started shooting. From my perspective (what I have read) he was considered "friend" not "foe" in the school. I would have done the same thing. I would have allowed the son of a teacher into the school. Why wouldn't I? You can't screen for mental illness. You can screen a driver's license. You can ask all the questions about their reasoning for being at the school. There probably would have been no amount of questioning that would have changed the outcome of yesterday.
Our world is broken. Somewhere along the way, this man was sad. Somewhere along the way this man was depressed, ill, bullied, abused, treated unfairly, wronged, judged....something. Somewhere along the way, there were signs that we probably ignored. I say "we" because I mean "we". Society. Not his mother. All of us.
Here is where I get preachy. I am not blaming the mother, the brother, the Principal, the friends. I am not blaming anyone. I am simply asking one question:
Out of all of the people that this man interacted with on a daily basis, did not one person bother to notice a warning sign from him?
Someone in his 21 years of life must have noticed, must have sensed, must have suspected that he was a broken mentally ill man. I'm fairly certain that you don't just wake up one day and decide that you are going to go to an elementary school and start shooting.
Here is my plea to our broken world. Take notice. Talk to people. Give a smile. Say hello. Call an old friend. Make a new friend. Talk to your kids' friends when they come over on a play date. Help a disabled person at the grocery store. Bake cookies for someone else. There are a million ways that you can spread kindness in this word. Love and kindness require no money. No purchase necessary. No gift receipt.
In case you are wondering, I do believe that a lot of the hate and anger in this world can be prevented by rainbows and unicorns. Maybe even a little bit of glitter and a few butterflies. Throw some cute puppies in there are you have the making for some serious joy filled-people.
I am not trying to make light of this situation. Can you even call it a situation? It was a hate filled murderous act of evil. That's what it should be called.
Those children were innocent. Those children did nothing to wrong this man. And therein lies the evil. This man committed an evil act on the innocent. He lashed out his anger in a cowardly way. Puppies and unicorns will not fix a man like that.
We need to pray against the evil. We need to pray our way out of this broken world we have created. WE HAVE CREATED. We were all born innocent. Remember, God gave his only begotten son... remember that line...from the BIBLE???
We are approaching one of the single most important dates in all of Christianity. The birth of Jesus gave hope to the world. Can you imagine how broken the world was back then...before the birth of our Lord Jesus? Look at what a gift we have. We have been given a gift of forgiveness. A gift of hope. A gift of grace. Those sweet little innocent children and the adults that cared for them at the school are with Him now. Imagine their happiness. Imagine the sheer joy of never feeling the pain of this world again. Pray for them. Pray to them. Pray that their angelic minds watch over us and make this world a better place.
We need some light in this world. We need some hope in this world. Hope is created by us. Love is created by us. Maybe this will spark your "feel good vibe" today to pray.
Most importantly, pray. We all relish and gear up for Black Friday, Cyber Monday...now we have Camo Thursday and Macy's I Believe Day. Really?
How about a "Pray Like You Mean It Day"? How about a "Get Down On Your Knees And Pray Day"? Take 30 seconds out of your life today to pray. Take five minutes out of your life today to pray. Pray as you make cookies for someone. Pray as you dial up an old friend. Pray as you are driving and someone cuts you off. Pray for them. It will take just as much energy to let them cut in front of you as it will to step on the gas pedal and box them out.
Pray for the families that are mourning their lost children. Pray for the families that are mourning the loss their mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers and friends. Pray for all of the children that saw this horrible act carried out in front of their eyes.
Pray that our broken world heals. Pray that the hatred ends. I declare today Prayer Saturday. If Macy's can do it, why can't I?
Some pretty cool things happened today. Before you read on, realize that my life is pretty simple right now. I can relish in the little things that happen each day. So, although I did not win the lottery or a Noble Peace Prize, the things that did happen today have made me pretty happy.
1. I had a cup of coffee. A regular ol' cup of joe. Caffeinated. Guess what? It didn't taste good. After 28 days of no coffee (or caffeine in general) having a cup of coffee this morning gave me a headache and made me jittery. It's amazing what clean eating can do for your body.
2. I got an early morning Skype from my sis. Guess who she was holding in her arms? My new great-nephew. Oh my goodness that boy is cute! A full mop of hair and sleepy little eyes. Yummy.
3. I went on a jog this morning. About 1/2 mile into the jog, I had to cinch up my running pants with the drawstring. The elastic was too loose to hold the pants on my hips. Then, I had to stop and cinch up my heart rate monitor that straps around my torso. Again, too big.
4. I got home from that wonderful jog where I knocked another 23 seconds off of my time from yesterday. Took a shower. Put on my jeans. Too big!
5. My cold in g.o.n.e.
6. Scooby the Wonder Dog got bathed and groomed today. She looks like a sweet little puppy with bows in her hair. Yes, she is curled up on the couch. But who cares when you are this cute?!
For Thanksgiving we decided to travel back to Colorado and spend the week with our friends and neighbors. We. Had. So. Much. Fun. Instead of boring you with all the details, I leave you with a picture diary of our week.
We started off the week at the Killian's house. Always a good time with them! Colin and Cam stayed 2 nights with them. The minute we left Colorado on Sunday, Colin asked when he was going to be able to see Kiki again.
A trip to Colorado to visit friends would not be the same without visiting the Osborn family! These kids have been friend since preschool.
These two could be brothers!
These two could be siblings. Or married....
Yep, two peas in a pod.
Love this little girl. Wish I was around to spend more time with her. She's a firecracker!
The gang is back together!
A visit to Colorado would also not be complete without a visit to see this family! Makes my heart happy.
The naturally silly two. I heard they had quite a "dance off" while hanging out on Friday.
Pretty much what these two do all day.
Thanksgiving with the cousins.
A little bit of "older cousin worship" going on all day.
Not a ton of snow but enough to ski down the hill.
Hitting the slopes ... literally....
My ski buddy.
A trip (anywhere) would not be complete without Cam getting hurt. He got to go down the mountain in style. He took a nose dive on a fall and got a bloody nose. We couldn't get it to stop so he got to take a ride.
All cleaned up. No worse for the wear but very tired.
If you look at the bottom of his ski (behind his binding) it's broken into two pieces. Not sure if he fell because it broke, or if he broke it when he fell. Either way, he wants to hang the ski on his wall. (Why wouldn't he?)
After posting all of these pictures, I realized that I missed out on A LOT of photo opportunities with many more friends. We had a great time seeing everyone! We also have so much to be thankful for. Thank you to our great friends, the Crowder's, for letting us crash at their house all week. We just couldn't ask for better friends than the ones we have in Colorado. We really thought we would be so sad seeing our old house. As it turns out, it wasn't the house that made the neighborhood, it was the neighbors! Since we know we can always go back and see our neighbors, there was no reason to be sad. Until next time...
It's amazing what a new hair cut can do for your outlook on life. But what is even more amazing is what losing 10 pounds can do for your outlook on life. When you lose that 10 pounds without feeling grouchy, tired, hungry or deprived, that's is a bonus that seems unthinkable.
This might come as a shock to a lot of you (or not) but I have never ever been comfortable in my own skin. Okay, maybe once. When Steve and I got married I was in the best shape of my life. I was working out twice a day (4 hours a day total) and really watching what I ate.
I am old now. I can't keep up that lifestyle. Even if I had enough hours in the day, I would have been too tired to work out for four hours a day.
As a kid I always felt overweight. Always. Here's the funny thing though, I wasn't overweight, I was just tall. I was skinny and tall but I couldn't trade clothes with any of my friends. I was too tall. In fact, my nickname was Too Tall Traci Troutman. Never comfortable in my own skin. My friends never knew I was conscious about my weight. I never told them. I never let on. I just always felt different, bigger, than everyone else.
Then as I got older (and had kids) everyone was always so polite with the "you are so tall so you carry your weight well" comments. I am here to tell you people, that is NOT a compliment. I have struggled with my weight for years. Years. I am well past the point of having "baby weight" to loose. My "baby" is 7 years old.
I have tried a few weight loss programs. I tried Weight Watchers (twice) and Herbalife (twice). What surprised me about Weight Watchers was the amount of processed food that was "okay" to put in your body. Get rid of sugary calories by drinking diet soda. Get rid of regular foods in your pantry and refrigerator and replace them with low fat and sugar free. You can still have sweets but replace those with the kind that cost $2.00 for one square that makes you stomach hurt when you eat them anyway. I had a hard time with all of that. The fake sugar just made me crave more sugar. I was a Diet Coke a-holic anyway so that just gave me the green light to drink more Diet Coke. Not the right program for me.
After a few more pounds and frustrations later, I tried Herbalife. I think their program is great for some people. However, with my heart problems (more annoying than serious) I couldn't use a lot of the products. If I get too much caffeine in my system (I would switch off from Diet Coke to Caffeine Free Diet Coke) my heart starts racing and I can't breath. With the teas and supplements that you needed to take along with the shakes, I just couldn't do Herbalife. Plus, the shakes made my stomach hurt. Like really hurt. I am not sure if it was too much protein all at once or the type of protein but it just didn't work for me.
I am a loyal gal. Each time I tried these methods I felt so guilty for quitting. But they were not working. It wasn't my lack of motivation or willingness to stick to something. It was that after a month or better of trying, 3-5 pounds was all I could loose. My stomach hurt. My heart was racing. I felt like crap. I was frustrated. So, I just quit.
I decided that I would just exercise enough to lose the weight. The only problem was that I was tired all the time. I couldn't even walk three miles let alone run three. I would push myself to run 3-4 miles and then need a nap. Seriously. A nap. I ran a marathon! It was 9 years ago but ... I ran a marathon and now I needed a nap after 3 miles?!?
I did what any sane woman would do. I went to the Dr. I got my thyroid checked. I got my iron level checked. I got my everything checked. Other than my mildly annoying heart problems there was nothing medically wrong with me to make me tired or gain weight. So, it was up to me to figure things out.
I kept eating all of the healthy foods. I have never been a fast food, take out, restaurant once a day type of girl. I don't even eat that stuff once a week. But what I was eating was a lot of "diet food". Not just Diet Coke but fat free everything and low sugar everything. Again, I thought this would help. But I just craved more. And more. And more.
Until now. I took a vested interest in a new program. I literally decided that this was my last chance. If it didn't work...if I was still tired....if I didn't loose weight....if the products made my heart race or my stomach hurt...I was just going to go ahead and nap everyday and buy new clothes that fit. Or better yet, stay in my pajamas all day. I just couldn't do it anymore.
Literally 14 days later, I feel great! I have lost 10 of the 25 pounds I want to lose. I have energy. I am back to running. I play outside with my kids after school. I am happy. I am sleeping better. With seeing results I know I am committed to losing the rest of the weight. My stomach doesn't hurt. My heart isn't racing. These products actually make me feel good! I am not starving myself or putting junk into my body. It's all natural. I almost feel like I am cheating or that I hold a little secret because after all those years, who knew it could be this easy. Seriously easy. I finally found something that works for me. Finally.
I can see myself on a new path. A happy path. A path where I am comfortable in my own skin....and browsing upcoming races to set my sights on my next marathon. It might take me awhile to get there but at having a goal is a good step!
