I Miss My Kids

Thanksgiving break is already over. I don't have any pictures to post. I didn't even take any pictures. We had nothing planned. We did not have any appointments. We just went day by day and did whatever we wanted. Through those nine long days I realized that I miss my kids. It was so great to have Colin home. The boys actually played pretty well together. The weather was nice enough that we could go outside. We raked leaves, put up the outdoor decorations and just relaxed. Colin did not really want to do anything special so we played a lot of wii, made crafts and were just generally lazy. On Sunday night, Colin was upset about having to go back to school. To be honest, I was upset too. I didn't really want either of them to go back. With Camden, it's a little easier since he is not in school that many hours. However, Colin is gone every day from 9am-4pm. You throw boyscouts into that and I feel like I don't get any time with him. When he is home, I just want to snuggle with him. Of course, he doesn't want much to do with that.

I am looking forward to Christmas break and even more than that, summer break. Going into the Thanksgiving break I really felt like we needed to make the most of our time. I figured we would go to the zoo, the museum, the park...I had all of these great ideas. It turns out, the kids just wanted to spend time at home. I couldn't have asked for anything better. I can see now that they are growing up so fast. I miss the preschool days where we could go to the park in the morning, have a picnic and then come home and do crafts together.


Realistically, the two of them still drive me crazy sometimes. I am exhausted by the end of every day. I wish I had more time to myself to get things done around the house. It seems like my "to do" list is never completed. Since I'm a bit "type A" (all you haters, no comments please) I have a hard time with the disarray of the house, the unreturned phone calls, the check book that has not been balanced for 6 months, the floors that need mopped, the laundry that needs folded....you know the list goes on and on.

However, I am thinking ahead to next fall when both kids will be in school full time. I am sure I can find things to fill my day but I already feel very lonely about this prospect. I don't really want a full time job or even a consuming part time job. I want to be able to volunteer in their classrooms, to join PTCO, to be here every morning when they go off to school and every afternoon when they come home from school. Again, I know I can find things to fill the day. Storage rooms to clean, photo albums to finish, errands to be completed. But I just feel lonely even thinking about doing all of this. It feels empty. It feels unimportant.

I'm going to go hug Camden now.