Porch Lights for Hailey

This weekend I am going to sit down with my boys and talk with them about this video. I am going to use it as a teaching tool so that they understand that being polite and being safe are two completely different things. We have taught them over and over that you are polite and helpful to others. I need to make sure that they understand that in some situations, being polite is just not necessary. While the thought of our own kids being kidnapped is a hard subject to face, I beg all of you to talk with your kids about the realities of these situations happening more and more.


Fox 4 Stranger Danger Video


We teach them not to play with matches, to test the bath water before they get in, to chew their food so they don't choke, we teach them all of these things to keep them safe. Please don't ignore teaching about stranger danger just because it's scary. It will be infinitely more scary to lose your child.

I know with my own children this can not be a breezy conversation that I have with them one night before bed. They will worry. They will fret. They sill be scared. They will ask questions. This talk will lead to conversations about robbers breaking in, children being killed and why there are bad people in the world. I have to tread lightly to draw a line between teaching my children and scaring them out of their minds. The age of innocence is gone. The age of playing outside with your friends all day without a parent in sight are gone. The age of walking to school by yourself, setting up a lemonade stand and the end of your street and flashlight tag with neighbor friends may never be experienced by our children. But guess what? This gives you, the parents the opportunity to be involved. Take a interest. Garden while your kids are outside. Ride your bike to school with them. Be present. And leave your porch light on for Hailey. Ours is on in Leawood, KS.

Hailey didn't willingly get in the car with her kidnapper. She didn't hang at the door and answer his questions. She didn't take the bait of candy, a puppy or whatever this man was presenting to get her into that car. He pulled her into the car. She got just close enough for him to grab her. It's not enough anymore to teach our kids to ignore strangers. Even if she had completely ignored him, he still could have grabbed her. We have to teach our kids to run, scream, yell, act like a lunatic...whatever it takes to not be grabbed into that car.

Although the police stated that Hailey didn't know her kidnapper, he could have easily worked at her school. As it was, he worked at a middle school. Let me rephrase this.... He.Worked.With. KIDS. How this happens, I have NO idea. Background checks would have turned up his two prior crimes but neither involved children so I guess that makes it ok for a person to work with children? I don't know what the solution is here, but it's not just enough to teach our kids not to talk to strangers. They really shouldn't be approached by any adult to get in a car, give directions, look at a puppy, take a piece of candy....So once again, we have to teach our kids that not talking to adults (stranger or not) isn't being rude, it's being safe.

As a side note:  When I was in elementary school I was out on Halloween night trick or treating with my friends. I was a few blocks behind them. As I walked down the street by myself to catch up with them, a man approached me in his car and asked me to get in. I remember being scared out of my mind. I had never seen the man before and was certain that I didn't know him. I ran up to the nearest house and knocked on the door. I told the woman that answered the door that I was just asked by someone to get in their car. I was shaking and crying. She got me a glass of water and let me sit in her house for a few minutes. I am certain she didn't call the police or my parents. I wish she would have done both. But she did drive me down the street to catch up with my friends. I didn't know her but I felt safe with. Looking back on it now, I am so very very thankful that I learned how to react if anyone ever approached me. That situation could have had a much different ending. It scared me enough that I still remember it to this day. I didn't talk to the man. I didn't get in his car. These are the same lessons we need to teach our children. Over and over again.

Taking Care of Me?

    For the last year and a half I feel like I have been in a state of limbo land. For seven years I stayed home with my boys and did all the things that moms do when they stay home. I played Legos. I cooked. I cleaned. I put puzzles together. I went to the park. I scheduled play dates. I ran boys back and forth to preschool. I kept us busy, fed and clean (for the most part). I dished out hugs, band aids, popsicles, time outs and few bad mommy moments here and there.
    But I felt like I never lived "in the moment". I tried to relish in the day-to-day laughter. I wanted to enjoy play Legos for the four thousandth time. I pretended to sing along to The Wiggles even though I loathed that show. I put on a smile when my boys said "watch me" nearly every second of every day. All in all, I had a pretty bad attitude about being a stay at home mom.

   I decided it wasn't enough. The grass is greener on the other side, ya know? I wanted something more. Something that would fill me up. Something that would challenge me (differently than a 2 year old challenges you). So, I took a full time job.
   And my heart seized. I loved my job but man, it was hard. It was hard to give over control to my husband. He was the one getting the boys ready for school. Packing lunches, checking homework and taking the boys to school. After that being my routine for so many years, I was kicked out. Pushed aside. It was hard to stand back and watch. I felt like an outsider. It got easier and it got harder. Easier on the days when I still had enough energy when I got home from work to play outside with the boys. Harder when one of them was sick and Steve was the one to stay home. Easier when I got a snow day off work. Harder when I had to work summer days.
     Then, it all stopped. I went from being a stay at home mom, to a full time working mom and back to a stay at home mom all in a year.
    And here I am today. But I don't know where I fit. When I went to work full time it was the first year Cam was in school all day. All of those "things" I thought I would be doing that year (prior to taking a full time job) were put on hold. You know, painting, major yard work, actually having lunch with friends, getting my house in order, cleaning out closets, going to a movie (during the day!!!). Now my boys are in school full time and I've been a stay at home mom for a year and a half. To give myself a little credit, it was sort of a whirlwind until spring last year because we were still unpacking and getting settled into our new house.
    But still, I'm supposed to be taking care of "me". I don't know how to do that. I've never done that. I've always taken care of others (my children to be specific). I still have a hard time defining what "taking care of me" means. Does it mean I get my nails done every week? Well, no, because I don't want my nails done. Does it mean I get a massage once a month? Well, no, because I can't afford that. Does it mean I read in a comfy chair by the fire while my kids are at school? Well, no, because I'd probably fall asleep and then not pick them up from school.

Love the photo?

   I had these really amazing images of working out every morning and spending the rest of my day puttering around my cozy house that oozed tranquility and peace. Truth be told, I have so much cat fur in my bathtub that I'd have to scrub it out before I could even take a bath. My scentsy makes my nose itch and if I don't start my exercise before 9am, it's not going to happen that day. I don't feel like downloading and organizing my 5,000 photos so that I can make cute scrap books. Shopping for home decor is not my favorite sport and shopping for clothes is my kryptonite. I can't knit (have no interest in learning), it's been winter for the past 14 months so I can't garden and I volunteer enough at my boys' school that I feel like Norm from Cheers. I do volunteer. I serve others. I donate. I pray. I attend a women's group. But I don't feel refreshed.
   So, how do I take care of me? Do I deserve to take care of me? What does that mean, "Take care of me?" For a fleeting moment I thought that maybe if I had a bottle of wine during the day, that might qualify as taking care of me. It's probably a good thing that thought didn't last very long.
   I know there are plenty of you out that with great ideas on what it means to "take care of you". So, what do you do? After all the house work, chores, to do lists....how do you take care of you?

To Cam, On Your 8th Birthday

To Cam on Your 8th Birthday,

While this letter is about a month late, it doesn't mean I love you any less. It means that we have been so busy spending time as a family that I haven't had time to sit down and write what I truly want about you and the fact that you are another year older.

In the blink of an eye you have gone from being my little boy to a sweet young man. You continue to amaze me with your quick wit and your ability to make me laugh in the spur of the moment. I have also realized that in combination with your sense of humor, that you feel and care very deeply for others. Your compassion runs deep which is seen in how you are affected when others are hurting or when someone has hurt you.

Sometimes I treat you as if you are much much older than your young 8 years. It seems that I can't remember a life without you. It seems that you have always been a part of this family. I tend to treat you like you are older and give you more responsibility and expect more from you than maybe you are ready for. After all, you are only 8 years old.

You are a brilliant boy with an amazing creativity that shines through in your art and writing. You amaze me everyday in how you practice and persevere with your gymnastics. When your coach gives you a task, you tackle it with full force and come back the following week having mastered the skill. I think even your coach is amazed at your ability.

Cam you are a kind and loving boy. You are friends with everyone and everyone wants to be your friend. I am honored that I was chosen to be your mom. We are blessed to have you in our family and can't imagine a world without you in it!

The Cat That Wasn't Really Lost (Also Titled: Why I Drank Three Glasses of Wine Last Night)

Prior to leaving to pick the boys up from school yesterday, I gave our sweet kitten a nice big bowl of stinky canned cat food. She was happily gulping it down when I left.

Upon arriving home from school we had a nice little visit from Aunt Roxanne and Uncle Ron who were passing through KC in their way home from a vacation.  We all sat and chatted for a few minutes in the family room. Then the boys went cat hunting. Aunt Roxanne assured them that she had seen the cat. Pet the cat. Held the cat.

After thirty minutes of searching and reassuring the boys that the cat HAD to be inside because all the doors had been shut since we walked in from school, I realized that the back door had been left open. Crap!

So the search continued. And continued. And continued. Three hours of searching. One boy in his room crying. Another boy not really understanding that when I say, "I have no idea where the cat could be", what I really mean is, "Ah crap. We've lost the cat. I'm done. No more pets for me. I can't take this anymore."

Then, while one crying boy sat on my lap, we found the cat. In the ottoman.

Now, you're probably asking yourself, "How could you not see the cat on the ottoman?"

Just to be clear, I said IN the ottoman.

Here, let me show you.

Here's the ottoman in the family room where we sat talking. Pretty innocent looking, right?

 

 

Ahhh, but here's the ottoman turned upside down.

 

 

 

Here, take a closer look. See how that one edge is pulled away from the structure of the ottoman? Our sweet kind little kitten pulled the fabric away from the staples to make a nice cozy little hammock for herself.

 

 

 

So when you are frantically searching for your cat that is in a food coma from all the yummy deliciously smelly canned food she just ate, she is sound asleep IN the ottoman like this.

 

 

So, when you move the ottoman FOUR times just to make sure she is not underneath, you can't see her sleeping IN the ottoman. Not a peep from her. No meowing. No purring, No scratching or moving. Remember, she is in a full bellied sleep coma.

 

As the boys and I searched the house for THREE hours carrying around an open can of cat food to lure her out, we had no idea she was IN the very ottoman that I sat on while typing my lame "lost cat" post on Facebook. I am certain Cookie was laughing silently at me the whole time.

 

While I know there is a lesson to be learning in this, I am not sure what it is.

 

On second thought maybe it's "Always keep a stocked bar", because that's what I needed after three hour of searching and two stressed out kids.





Two Things

Two things happened today.

Cam asked me to tie his shoes. Specifically he said, "Mommy, will you tie my shoes?" He said mommy. My heart melted.

Tonight at bedtime Colin held out his arms as he was crawling into bed for me to give him a hug. He held on for a long time. And then whispered in my ear, "Mom, I really love you". My heart melted.

My boys are growing up so fast and yet they are both still so young. Today took me back years ago when nap times and sippy cups defined my days.

Sometimes it's hard to love the season that we are in. I desperately miss those sticky kisses and pudgy boy fingers wrapped around my neck.

I love my big boys but I miss my little boys too.

Dear Muscle Head...

Dear Muscle Head (and your Muscle Head Friend Blocking My Car),

I have a very busy schedule today. In the time that it took you to roll out of bed and arrive at the gym, I have already packed school lunches, dropped both kids off at school, paid some bills, read the newspaper, exercised for an hour and thirty minutes and stopped by the post office. Now I need to shower, do a load of laundry, plant the three mums I bought this weekend, wash the dishes, clean the kitchen, balance out my household budget, go to the grocery store and find a solution for world peace all before I pick up my kids at 3:30pm.

But I digress, back to the subject, could you please kindly NOT block my super cool mini van in the ever packed Lifetime Fitness parking lot when I walk out at 9:40am? I realize the parking lot is full but it appears to me that you and your muscle headed buddy are either stupid or rude. Maybe a little of both.

Your God's gift to women (aged 22-28) attitudes have no effect of my late-thirties brain. Yes, you have super human biceps and your quads scrape together as you walk. But I rock some amazing crows feet near my eyes that can only be placed there by years of sleep deprivation due to my stellar parenting skills of walking and rocking my babies while they screamed each night. You don't come by my extra pounds and twitchy bad back easily. You have to work on years of stress eating, baby lifting, lego floor playing and mac n cheese dinners to look like this.

Hence, the reason I am AT a fitness club. Last week I was in la la land as I exercised at 1pm. I should have known better than to arrive mid-morning rush but it seems that you are in no rush. You are standing there drinking your crap GNC protein shake (I can see the four pound canister sitting in your beat up Impala) talking about God know's what with your sidekick Robin in his way too tight matchy matchy outfit.

Your mothers would be embarrassed at your treatment of elders. As I walked to my car and pointed saying, "This is my car", I assumed you would understand that my tired, sweaty body was getting ready to leave. Instead you checked yourself in the mirror five more times. I'm not sure why you were checking yourself in the mirror since you literally had no hair. Again, maybe due to your crap GNC shake.

I know I sound angry but I'm really not. I'm dismayed. The fact that you and your buddy could stand in the parking lot talking with his car sitting idle directly behind mine is baffling to me.
I thought that by starting my car and putting it in reverse, you might take the hint. Maybe years of too loud music piped into your ears while you lift massive weights has made you deaf. Or maybe at some point those massive weights were dropped on your head.

Here's the kicker, when I finally got out of my car and asked you and your friend to move, I realized you were both actually employees of the gym. Bravo. Now I have your names from your cute shiny name tags. I'm pretty sure it's frowned upon to treat your guests like a nuisance to your otherwise very busy and important job.

I was a little awestruck to be in the gym last week. With all the shiny equipment, flashing televisions and never ending supplies of towels, you had me hooked. Then this morning I drove into a packed parking lot, had to witness lots of naked ladies in the locker room, felt like an out of date idiot in my one good work out shirt while all the cute thin little ladies ran a 6.30 mile in their perfectly thought out running gear. From start to finish I felt out of place, out of touch and out of breath.

The parking lot debacle left a bad feeling in my brain and a tiny bit of resentment that I'm almost 40. I'll still make it to the gym tomorrow but probably not until 1pm. I think I'll go eat a cookie now.

The "Lazy" Summer 2013

The kids and I make a list every summer of the activities we want to do during our lazy summer days. As you might suspect, this list makes the summer not so lazy.

While some people make easy summer lists that include things like "catch a frog" or "blow bubbles in the back yard", our list is easy for the kids but sometimes difficult for me. Weather, attitudes, budget, and Steve's availability all play a role in how I plan our activities.

With that said, summer is fun but exhausting. Isn't that how it should be though? I have my moments of longing for the kids to be back in school but for the most part, I enjoy having my kids home. I enjoy seeing them decompress, laugh and be carefree. Being carefree takes a lot of work!


Here's our list and what we've done so far.....

COMPLETED!

GO TO NEIGHBORHOOD POOL

Like, a zillion times.

 



PLAY DATES

Both kids have had several play dates.

 



FIREWORKS AT UNCLE TOM'S AND AUNT STEFF'S

So. Much. Fun!

 



 

 

MAKE STEPPING STONES 

We missed doing this last year because of our move.

 

GO TO STARBUCKS WITH MRS. ZIMA

Cam's First Grade teacher. Love her!

 





GO TO ROYALS GAME

Two games so far.

  



GO TO THE MALL

 

Of course, they can't be away from video games for very long.

 

TABLE ROCK LAKE

 

Double bonus since we were with the Lee's!

 

 

 

 

SEE A MOVIE

Ironically we have seen Monster's University and Despicable Me Two but had our photo taken with a Turbo sign.

 



SCIENCE CITY



Steve showing off his robot skills.

 



PICK FRUIT FROM AND ORCHARD

Blackberries!

 







SILVER DOLLAR CITY

 

We are now season ticket holders.

 

 

 

 

SEE FAMILY 

 

Yes, the Lee's are family.

 



 

Aunt Roxanne and Uncle Ron came for a weekend visit.

 

On the boat with the Silva's!

 



 



FISHING

 

This was early in the summer but it just got too hot!

 







JOIN LIBRARY READING CLUB (NO MUSH BRAINS THIS SUMMER)
No photos of them reading. :-(


WORLDS OF FUN

Hanging out with Snoopy.

 

 

Can you spot Colin, Cam, Steve and Uncle Ron?

 

 



OCEANS OF FUN

Colin got stung by a wasp on the walk over to Oceans of Fun so he sat and waited for his brother for 2 hours. He did get his feet wet the last 5 minutes we were there. The wasp sting is still a little swollen. Keeping an eye on it.

 



CAMPING

 

Again, early in the summer so we'll have to do it again when it's cooler.

 



LEGO DISCOVERY

We spent 6 hours at Lego Discovery. That's a little hard to do but they managed.

 



STILL ON OUR LIST
CAMP SILVA (HEAVILY DEPENDENT ON ME AND I'M NOT SURE I HAVE IT IN ME) 
GREAT WOLF LODGE
COLORADO (SAD TO SAY WE HAVE CANCELED OUR AUG. TRIP)
TYE DYE SHIRTS (ALREADY HAVE ALL THE SUPPLIES)
NASCAR RACE (I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THEY RACE IN THE SUMMER??)
KALEIDOSCOPE
DEANNA ROSE
SCHLITTERBAHN

Only a few weeks of summer left. :-( I'm not sure we'll be able to get to everything left on or list (Nascar race??) but we're going to have fun trying!