High School- What It Was, And What It Wasn't

High School for me was a never ending source of happiness and a never ending source of sadness. Looking back on it now, I wonder what I ever had to be sad about. I know a few things dug deep into my heart that I'm not quite ready to share here yet. But most of them were silly nonsense that only a teenager could turn into dramatic events.

I don't think I was a difficult teenager (compared to others and compared to stories I hear now of parents of teenage girls). But, as the saying goes, what my parents didn't know won't hurt them. That is how the saying goes, right? Or maybe it's, "What my parents know now, they can't ground me for because I'm too old."

This is a post that might come in several installments because I have a lot of memories about high school. Let's just start with these...

Here a  few of the many things I remember about high school...

One of the first people that comes to mind when I think about high school is Sam. I went to school with him from Kindergarten through my senior year. My classmates might be surprised by this (of the many things I can and do remember, he is forefront on my mind). I remember working on homecoming projects at his house every year. His parents were so welcoming and inviting. Seemingly the perfect family. Happy, nice, content, giving, sweet sweet people. I remember Sam on the basketball court. He was so tall, even back then and even though he was lanky, he wasn't awkward on the basketball court. He was amazing to watch and such a nice guy. It was a shock to find out that this Jayhawk loving happy guy was no longer with us just a few short years after we graduated. We were told he took his own life. It's just hard to imagine that anyone with that much happiness in his family would feel so desperate to not want to be on this earth anymore. My heart still tugs when I think of him. We have no idea what battles others are facing. Be kind. Be nice. All of the time. A simple smile or genuine act of concern could save someone, literally.

I also remember thinking it was the absolute end of the world when I failed Algebra II. I HATED math. Still do. Letters should not be allowed in mathematical equations. Realistically the only math that a normal person going to use within the general scope of a job is addition, subtraction, division, multiplication, some fractions, percentages and maybe some decimals on a very bad day. Have you EVER used the FOIL method? If you answer yes to that question, then I consider you to be one of the smartest people in the world (this category includes my husband). I would beat my head against a wall if I had to use this on a daily basis. Because I failed a class, I couldn't run for Student Council that year. It nearly crushed me. Student Council was the one thing in high school that nourished my Type A OCD personality. The meetings, agendas, check lists, to do lists, deadlines...oh how I loved them. All those things led up to fun skating parties, homecoming events, fundraisers. Those were the things I couldn't live without.  I was genuinely surprised and mad that my teacher failed me. I asked questions. I reworked my papers. I retook tests. I did my homework. I stayed for tutoring. (Remember the tutors that came in from Boeing?) I constantly asked for help. I still don't think it's fair that I failed and will hold a grudge against the FOIL method for all of eternity. I retook Algebra II the next year and scratched my way to a C.

Another one of my extra curricular activities was soccer. I absolutely loved playing soccer but I wasn't very good. I knew it then and I know it now. But here's the cool thing, no one ever said anything about my lack of ability. Girl's soccer was new at my high school when I was a junior so pretty much if you walked onto the field, you were on the team. I could kick the ball pretty well when no one was around to chase, block or try to steal the ball away from me. Other than that, I was a lost cause. But I loved it. I never scored a goal and never really contributed much to the games other than being a warm body on the field. My teammates never once made me feel like the poor player that I was. Nope. We were a team. Every member of the team was pushed to their ability (even though some player's abilities far out shined the others) and were treated equally. It's a far cry from what I see my boys going through now. As second and fourth graders their lack of athletic ability has greatly hindered their playing time on any team. They get put last on the roster, last at bat, stuck in the outfield and told that they won't be accepted onto the team since they haven't been playing competitively for the last 15 years.  My soccer team did want to win but we also wanted to have fun doing it. I'm so grateful that I got to be a part of a team like that!

In the fall of my senior year I realized that I had enough credits to cut my high school hours short and attend college classes my last semester. I had to have certain teachers and sponsors sign off that they thought I could handle the work load. I was in a lot of activities at the time and one of my activity sponsors refused to sign off for me. She told me she didn't think I could handle college classes and still complete high school. She was mean, rude, demeaning and altogether unsupportive. Again, I was surprised and mad. I can't say that's the reason I went into teaching or administration but it probably propelled me in that direction. In then end, I got the signature, dropped more than half of my high school classes (I only attended high school three hours a day) and went on to complete 15 credit hours that semester of college classes with straight A's in everything. All I can say now is, "Ha!"

Of course high school wouldn't be high school without friends. I had a few close friends, a lot of good friends and many classmates. It saddens me that I didn't keep in touch with any of my friends from high school. There's only one person that I talk to occasionally (other than the ones I happen to be related to now through marriage - which is still a little strange to me - but in a good way). Some of those were friendships that I really thought would stand the test of time. I didn't invest time in those friendships in the coming years and at this point, that's a big regret. Over the past few weeks I have learned of two classmates that have died. It breaks my heart that their families are grieving. It also breaks my heart that our class of 1992 is aging into our years where our bodies will start to fail. Yes, we're just turning 40 but isn't it all downhill from here? We have marriages, jobs, kids, mortgages and some even have grand kids. So hard to believe. I would love to go through this season of life with some of my best friends from way back when. So much time has passed. So many milestones have been missed. It makes me sad that I didn't invest more in those friendships. The "Never Say Goodbye" theme seems like an oxymoron now since we were all clamoring to say goodbye and get out of there.