Feeling Old

How come the more I try to stay young, the older I feel? Yesterday while I was running I inhaled very deeply and I felt the muscles in my back pull completely from one side to the other. Yes, breathing. This morning I feel like someone clubbed me in the back with a baseball bat.

Normally it's my lower back that hurts. This time it is everything except my lower back. I'll try to ice it today since I can't afford the time to get in to the chiropractor today. The kids just saw me try to get out of a chair. As I grimaced and tears welled up in my eyes, Colin said, "Are you okay mom?" My reply, "Yes Colin, I'm okay. It's just a backache. You can't die from a backache." Um, I really hope that true because this one HURTS!

Camism today: "Mom, are any of my Webkinz celebrating a special occasion today? I need to complete my gold coin collection so I can buy a dragster from the Wish Shop."
That's a lot of big words little man.

Update on Snicks - she is one crazy cat. I was sitting at the table on Tuesday filling out some paperwork. The cat did a stealth jump onto the table and attacked my hand; repeatedly. I'd push her off and she would jump back up. It was quite a fun game for her. I get, like, 10.9 seconds to myself a day. I really needed to get this paperwork completed for Camden's speech therapy. Kitty foiled my plans.

After the boys were snug in there beds last night Steve and I heard giggling from upstairs. I went up to see what was going on. Colin was dangling his hands and feet over the edge of his bed and the cat was attacking him. I am so glad that Snicks made it through her surgery. Colin would have been heartbroken for many months to come. He loves that little fireball with all of his heart.

Please continue t pray for Joanne (a friend of a friend). She is being taken off of the meds that induced the coma (so the swelling in her brain could recede). They do not know how long it will take for her to wake up or the extent of the damage. You can follow her progress here:

http://thesimplewife.typepad.com/the_simple_wife/

Ten on Tuesday

1. The continuation of the shower saga....as I was showering today Colin came in the room crying. He said he needed to snuggle with someone because he was sad that he had to go to school today. I'm thinking to myself, yes, I get it kid. I understand that you are sad but really...I am in the shower. And you had to walk right past your dad to come up here and talk to me. Really?

2. Camism: "Mom, they made this DS game very complicated. I can't get my guy to go at the right angle to cross the threshold." Okay.

3. Steve continues to work ridiculous hours. He went in last night at 9pm (after a full day of work). I don't know what time he got home. It was between midnight and 5am. I am leaning closer to the 5am slot since when I came home from the gym at 7am he was still asleep and the kids were downstairs watching tv. The kids told me that he got up and turned on the tv for them and went back to bed. That's not really like him so it must have been a very late/early morning for him.

4. I am trying to decide it I want to apply for a substitutes license or go the harder route and take the PRAXIS test and then apply for my Colorado teaching certificate. I have not held a license since living in KS. That was quite some time ago.

5. We are getting a little taste of spring time weather here but I know it is short lived. We played outside yesterday but by this weekend it is supposed to be frigid again.

6. Colin had a hard time going to school today (see Item 1). It's interesting that he recognizes that when he has an extra day off, it is harder for him to go to school.

7. Camden was so tired last night. I woke him up at 10pm to take him to the bathroom and there was a puddle of drool on his bed and down his neck. Yuck. But that probably explains why he has been getting up at 5:30am the past few mornings. He sleeps hard for 8-9 hours and is ready to tackle another day.

8. I am finally on the other side of well. My cold decided to give me a farewell gesture and leave a nice big cold sore on my lip. Thanks.

9. Wondering when we can get the kids back up on the mountain to go skiing. However, it kind of freaks me out a little bit with how much trouble ski slopes have been having with their lifts lately. Skiing is a very dangerous sport.

10. Not much on the agenda for this week. The evening should be pretty calm at the Silva house. I have been trying out some new (easy) recipes. Some have been a hit and some have been a big fail.

Please Pray

As I sit here in my cozy house with my kids and husband watching a Lego show before bedtime, my mind keeps wandering to the current life of a friend of a friend.

I have placed a link in this post to a website. This website describes what this family has been through since Friday. Their world was turned upside down in a matter in seconds when the mom had a stroke. This family could be any one of us. My heart just breaks every time I read an update from this family. I do not know them but I have read her blog many times. She seems like such a wonderful person with so much to give.

You will need to scroll back through her blog to get to the beginning of the situation.As you hold your kids a little closer tonight, please for this family.

The Simple Wife

http://thesimplewife.typepad.com/the_simple_wife

Self Fulfilling Prophecy

I know I jinxed myself last night. After a "not so stellar" day with Cam, I figured that today might be even harder. He's been tired, cranky and overall not listening very well the last few days. I mentioned to Steve last night that I thought today was going to be a rough day with him. Before Cam went to bed last night he was already complaining that the did not want to go to gymnastics or to volunteer at Colin's school today.

Guess what? He's been sent to his room twice this morning. I have been uber patient with him so I don't think it's me being too hard on him. He got sent to time out by his by his gymnastics instructor. He cried all the way home because he asked to eat lunch on the couch and I told him no. Eating lunch on the couch is not common practice in our house. They get to eat on the couch on Fridays for "Family Fun Night". That's it. Why he thought he would be allowed today, it's beyond me. But he had it in his head that he wanted to eat on the couch. Oh the despair when I told him no.

Right now he is on the couch crying, watching Diego. I figured 30 minutes of mind vegging would do him (and me) some good. Tonight will be an early bed time for sure. If he wasn't already on antibiotics, I would say that he was going to wake up sick tomorrow.

Breath in. Breath out. These are the types of days where I dread that Steve comes home late. These are the types of days where I wonder if Cam can handle full day Kindergarten next year. These are the types of days when I question why God gave me a strong willed child.

These are also the days when I see that Cam can stand on his own two feet. These are the days when I know that he needs me the most. These are the days when I am thankful that we have set a foundation of rules and expectations for our kids. Two steps forward. One step back. But, still progress. Tomorrow will be a better day.

Ten on Tuesday

1. I realized the other day after looking at Cam's birth certificate that my birth date is wrong on his certificate. I am a year younger on his birth certificate. Something tells me that I should probably get this changed and something else tells me that it is not going to be an easy process.

2. Camism for today....He had to take his medicine last night. He fusses and complains every time so I told him that he had to have it, no exceptions. He turned to me and said, "Come on mom, cut me some slack."

3. My throat still hurts. It's a different kind of hurt though. I don't feel sick. My head is not stuffy. My throat just hurts. It's better during the day but by late evening, it hurts all the way up to my ears and I have a headache. I would like to go back to the doctor but I am assuming that since I have no other symptoms, they will run blood work. That being said, I can't go to the Dr. with a kid in tow because I always pass out when they take blood. It's just something I have come to expect. I can't have Cam there with me while they are picking me up off the floor. Guess I'll just see if my throat gets better or worse over the next few days.

4. Colin was still his same old grumpy self after school yesterday It wears off around 6pm. That just makes for a long two hours.

5. I got to take a shower AND get dressed all by myself on Saturday. Everyone was gone so it was quite easy. I almost had time to shower and dress by myself the other days of the week too. If I would have just cut my shower/dress time by 15 minutes. I would have had complete privacy. Oh wait, it only takes me 15 minutes to shower and get dressed.

6. We did get some snow over the weekend. It's very dry and powdery snow. It's too cold for the kids to go outside so I'm not sure the snow was exactly what I asked for.

7. Steve and I went out to dinner on Sunday afternoon. We have not been out since, oh goodness, October, I think. That's when we went to Las Vegas and my mom watched the kids. I kind of miss my husband.

8. It's a really good feeling to be recycling more than we throw away. Our recycle bin is more full each week than our garbage bin. Yeah us.

9. I baked cookies today. Something about being cooped up when it is cold outside just makes me want to bake. I don't necessarily want to eat what I bake, so come on over and help me out.

10. Steve and I have decided to keep our summer vacation close to home. We want to plan a few long weekends to Colorado destinations. Any suggestions of fun places in the state to go with kids? We have considered Steamboat, Glenwood Springs, Royal Gorge and/or Silverton train.

More "Cam"isms and an Ah Ha Moment

Camden is just a crack up. This things that come out of that 5 year old little brain. He sounds so wise and so funny at the same time.

He was eating a fudge pop for dessert the other day. He was sitting at the table and said, "Mom, this tastes like a slice of the moon. A little bit of chocolaty heaven goodness." He is so stinking cute.

More from Cam....

"I know who our first President was (notice the past tense). Obama. He rules the world." I tried to clarify with Camden that Obama is our current President but he just could not wrap his head around it.

"I want to go to Egypt. It's full of booby traps. I can see them from our house."

"Don't forget to pray for Brandon (our beloved dog) in heaven. I need to seem him again. I really really miss him." (Cam was a year old when we put Brandon down but he really really misses him.)

"I am allergic to dogs and cats and cottonwood. I wonder if I am allergic to mom. But I don't sneeze around any of them."

And the ah ha moment that I learned this week about Colin. I kept trying to figure out what magical piece of Christmas break allowed the boys to get along so well. It was a like a little fairy came down and sprinkled happy smiles and kindness in our house for two weeks. The boys played so well together. They shared, they plotted, they built forts...it was wonderful. I had so much fun doing all sorts of different activities with them because we were all so happy.

Yesterday after school Colin just ripped into Camden. He was yelling at him. He did not want to be around him. Colin was crying. Camden was crying. And I had an ah ha moment.

Everyday when Colin gets home from school he is in an awful mood. It breaks my heart because I know his teacher gets the best of him at school and we get the worst of him at home. (He's still a good kid, I just hate seeing him so sad.) I realized that he is just totally worn out. He is mentally exhausted. I have to go back to the days when he was a toddler. We avoided noisy places and crowds with him because he would end up crying if he got too agitated.

Cue in school. Noise and chaos is a constant. His teacher is WONDERFUL (and that is with ALL CAPS!!!)! The classroom itself is organized and his day is structured. But, the class is full of kids, the lunchroom is crowded. The arrival and dismissal process is noisy and crowded. I imagine every day when he gets on the bus to come home, his heart skips a beat. I am sure that he is on edge wondering if I'll be there to pick him up. He still asks me to promise him everyday that I will be at the bus stop waiting for him. I have never given him any reason to indicate that I would not be there. And we have a plan set up with neighbors if for some emergency reason I am not there. The kid just worries. (Wonder where he gets that from?)

I bet he is stressed and on edge most of the day. When he comes home, he is just exhausted. We don't have much time between him getting home and bedtime. He gets home at 4pm. We try to have them upstairs by 6:30pm for a bath and bedtime between 7:30-7:45pm. If he has a boyscouts thing that gets pushed to 8pm which I do not like but we just have to deal with it.

I really want to get him involved in karate after school but he is just so tired. I wonder if he had an activity right after school if it would make things better or worse. Does anyone out there have an experience with this? I just keep thinking that if he had a way to release this anxiety, our nights might go better.

I don't get "happy Colin" after school. Sure, he bounces home and runs to greet the bus driver on the other side of the block. But the minute we walk in the door he is either pouting, yelling at Camden, whining about not having something, complaining about having to go to boyscouts, the grocery store, the moon. Seriously, it almost seems like his way of processing things is just to be in a sour mood for 2 hours.

Usually, by dinner, he has turned the corner and he is happy and smiling. But those two hours are brutal. I have to admit, I think a "schedule" after school would be a good idea. We have taken him out of all of his activities after school except Boyscouts. That keeps us plenty busy. But I almost feel like he needs a physical release. It's been hard to establish a routine after school because there are always so many different variables. I might need to run to the store with them. We might need to catch up on homework or a boyscout project. Lately we have made a lot of after school trips to Walgreens for meds for Cam. We go to the library some days. I like to take them with me when I return books so they have a chance to check out new books. It has just been really hard to get into a routine after school.

I'm not sure which way to go with this. Do I schedule something after school as a "release" for Colin or do I establish a routine at home where he has some time to himself? He's going to see that as a punishment but it might do him some good to not have to interact with Cam the moment he walks in the door. Cam is so excited to see Colin and tell him about his day. I'm just not sure how to turn after school time into that joyous occasion that I always felt after school. How do you all handle after school time? Routine, classes, activities, cookies and milk?

Just so I don't end this blog on a down note, here are some pictures of last weeks snow. It's all melted now but we are supposed to get more on Sunday night. The low on Sunday is -14. Now that's cold people.

Ten on Thursday (Because I Did Not Get To It On Tues.)

My Ten on Tuesday posts did not last very long. I am a few days behind. So here goes....

1. Camden is still using words that are way to big for him. It cracks me up. Yesterday he was putting together a Lego. I noticed that he was not following the exact directions. When I asked him why he used a different piece he said, "Mom, I am improvising." Wow. Excuse me. I shouldn't question a 5 year old.

2. Colin has decided that he wants to have his 7 year birthday party at the Humane Society. When he found out that the payment for the party went directly back to the animals and their care, he chose the Humane Society over a party at the Lego Store. I love his heart.

3. Steve continues to work weird and long hours. He has worked so many night shifts along with his regular day shift that I do not know how he can function. I've been trying to take care of things at home so he can do what he needs to do at work but it's hard when there's no clear schedule. He should be getting a review within the month so hopefully all of his hard work will pay off.

4. Facebook is the coolest thing ever. When I was in middle school we hosted an exchange student from Iceland. She was a wonderful friend and I have tried to find her on facebook a few times but could not figure out the spelling of her last name. Yesterday she contacted me via facebook. So cool!

5. I am having a hard time not putting my name in the running for full time positions opening up at the Charter School. I know there is no way that I can work full time and juggle the kids' school and activities like I do now. Steve works so many hours that I just can not commit to a full time job. I want to work but I don't want to leave my kids with someone else. I want to work but Cam is just starting Kindergarten next year. I want to work and a job at the school would be perfect. But not right now. I have to wait for God's timing and not try to fit it into my own timing.

6. Cam is going back on antibiotics. His sinus infection is not quite gone. He still has a gooey nose so it's back to a 10 day dose of antibiotics for him. I hate putting him on meds but I just can't seem to get him well.

7. My sis is moving from Charleston, SC in March. This is kind of a bummer because I thought we would be able to go out to Charleston one last time this summer. They were supposed to be moving to Rhode Island in July. Things changed and now they have orders to move to St. Louis. Bummer.

8. Colin lost his 3rd front tooth last week. It was loose already but it was knocked out by Cam when they were wrestling. I have given up on the "No Wrestling" rule. It's a constant battle so I just told them that if they got hurt, it was not my fault. Karma baby. Karma.

9. Colin had a "Go See Em' with Boyscouts last night. Steve took both Colin and Cam to the Police Station for a tour because we thought Cam might enjoy it too. Turns out the police officer did not know much about how to handle a group of 6 year olds. The kids got lectures on sexual predators, murders, bodies being dumped in fields, drunk drivers.... not the kind of information that I expected for a tour with 6 year olds. Nice. Really nice.

10. I am ready for more snow or spring. Not sure which.